“GOD I'M BITTER”
I've heard it said "---most of our
problems are human problems." This simple statement hits the nail squarely on
the head. People are the cause of most of our problems!
Just think of it ---if we no longer had
people, prejudice would be erased; wars would cease; pollution and
overpopulation would no longer be problems.
Lets face it, our humanness causes most of
our problems We are bundles of potential problems looking for a place to
happen.
One of the deep problems of human life is
bitterness. In his letter to the Ephesians believers, Paul addresses himself to
this problem. He deals with the "gut" issues of unity, theft, lying, malice, and
to "put off the old man and put on the new man." (Ephesians 4:22-24) Then the
fourth chapter of Ephesians closes, Paul zeroes in on the thorny problem of
bitterness.
As we examine the context of these verses
concerning bitterness, we see that anger has a place in the life of the
Christian. "Be angry, and yet do not sin ---" (Eph. 4:26). God permits
the believer to become angry. But don't go overboard; anger is permitted, not
commanded.
God permits us to become angry for several
reasons. First anger is a natural emotion. The inability to become angry would
leave one insensitive to wrong and make him apathetic to the pressing problems
around him. When citizens fail to confront wrong with indignation and action,
society teeters: on the verge of collapse. Apathy has become a major problem in
our society and the church. Too often people put on blinders and drive down the
road of life with little concern for righting wrongs. The prevailing attitude
is, "As long as it doesn't affect my comfortable way of life directly, its none
of my business.
A second reason for the permission of
anger is that it is expressed by God. Jesus Christ became angry when He observed
people defiling the temple by conducting corrupt money changing practices and
selling maimed animals for sacrifice. If He had followed today's political
strategist, He probably would have suggested they gather for a summit conference
to work out a negotiated settlement mutually satisfactory to all concerned! No
chance! His anger issued forth in corrective action. He made a whip of cords,
drove them out of the temple, and overturned their tables.
Scripture declares that God is going to
pour out His wrath upon sin. The capacity to become angry at sin and injustice
reflects the moral purity of God.
A word of caution!
Even though God permits anger, we are cautioned to "sin not." If we allow our
anger to become personalized it becomes a sin. Jesus was incensed with the
defiling of the temple and vented His anger at the wrong. God loves the sinner
but hates his sin. We know He loved them and us, He went to the cross for us
all.
Though anger is permitted in the life of a
Christian, such anger must be temporary. Paul also says "-- do not let the sun
go down on you anger." (Eph. 4:26) Natural anger that is permitted to remain
becomes sin. How many times in your lives you thought you wouldn't have an
argument with a loved one, just because "You love one another" and you exchange
words sometimes pretty harsh words at that. When there is a disagreement you
normally see harsh words follow. Be prepared to correct it just as soon as
possible, like before the "sun goes down." Meaning within the same day. Failure
to quickly resolve our anger nourishes it into a grudge and some nursed grudges
become irreconcilable, leaving us wide open to the devil. This is why Paul says,
"And do not give the devil an opportunity" (Eph. 4:27). Bitterness is a division
tool used by Satan to drive a wedge between husband and wife and to destroy
their home. Paul says "go ahead and get angry. But then settle the
differences and forget it. Kiss and make up!
Bitterness destroys friendships and the
fellowship in churches. Notice-,the theme-of Ephesians is
the unity of the believers in fellowship in, the Body of Christ. Bitterness will
destroy this unity which is so essential in the assembly. Hebrews
sheds practical light on the subject, when the writer says we are to follow
after peace with all men (even those who have wronged us.) "See that no one
comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up cause
trouble, and by it many be defiled." (Heb. 12:14-15)
A word of practical admonition: If you are
unhappy in your church, you should either resolve your bitterness or else leave
that assembly and find one where you will be happy (joyous).
Failure to be reconciled will only spread
your bitterness to others and cause them to sin.
Are you "burned up" with someone right
now? Have you let your anger grow into a grudge or bitterness? If you have, here
are three essential steps to help break the bondage of bitterness.
First: Recognize it for what it is ---
a sin! We are commanded to get rid of bitterness. Paul says, "Let all
bitterness, and wrath and anger and clamor, and slander, be put away from you,
along with all malice." (Eph. 4:31) This command deals with a number of related
disposition problems.
"Bitterness"
(PIKRIA in Greek) refers to a malignant disposition, a long standing
resentment, or a spirit that refuses to be economized. We normally think of it
as holding a grudge.
"Wrath" (THUMOS in Greek), on the other
hand, refers to the impulsive outburst -- as when someone "blows his top."
Example: During a ball game a
player jumps up, throws. his helmet on the ground, and storms back to the huddle
after the referees made what he considered a bad call. The announcer observed
the player's anger and wondered out loud if he would seek revenge. Sure enough,
the angry player tried to get even during the next play. His "anger" (thumos)
gave way to "bitterness" (pikria).
The vehicle for expressing most bitterness
(or wrath) is the tongue. A bitter person is frequently involved in what Paul
calls “clamor” or loud talking. Most of-us have noticed that loud
talking or arguing almost always accompanies anger.
Another way we express bitterness with the
tongue is through what Paul calls "slander” or “evil speaking and lying.” It
also means failing to tell the whole truth. Have you ever stretched the
truth when recounting what someone did to you? If you have, you are guilty of
expressing your bitterness through slander.
We are commanded from Scripture to get rid
of problems that come from a malignant disposition. Paul says, "Let all be put
away from you along with all malice." We are to make a clean sweep of the
bitterness that causes our disposition to go sour. Therefore, if we hope to deal
with bitterness, we must begin to recognizing bitterness for what it is Sin,
and then deal with it as you would any other sin – confess to God. (I
John 1:9)
Second: Try to keep from
hurting others. "And be kind
another, tenderhearted ---"
(Eph. 4:32.) This is a direct command to display human kindness to other people.
Kind (CHRESTOS) means "pleasant or gracious." Greet people with a smile. A smile
goes a long way toward removing seeds that would produce bitterness.
We are to be tenderhearted or
compassionate. In practice we find it's easier to be compulsive rather than
compassionate. A practical suggestion of how this works is to think of the
damage your unkind actions might do in the life of someone else. Kindness and
compassion accepts people just as they are (not as you want them to be) and a
willingness to overlook personal hurts or wrongs suffered at the hands of
others.
Its true many people are easily offended,
but unless we are willing to display human compassion and kindness, we will
alienate those to whom we are called to minister. It has been said the most
flammable material in the world is the chip on the shoulder. Our conduct with
others should be based on compassion for them in their desperate needs.
Jesus gave some practical instructions
regarding the removal of bitterness in others. But people would like to blue
pencil this advice out of the Bible! In His great Sermon on the Mount, He made
it clear we have a definite responsibility to take the initiative in
restoring those who hold a grudge. Notice what He says:
"If therefore you are presenting your
offering at the altar, and there remember-that your brother has
something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go your
way, first be reconciled to your, brother, and then come present, your offering.
(Matthew 5:23-24)
Jesus does not discuss who is the blame,
nor whether the brother has a right to be angry with you. The right or
wrong of his bitterness is not the issue. If you have the responsibility to
take the initiative in restoring the brother and effecting a reconciliation.
Failure to seek a reconciliation will hinder your worship. Its impossible to
worship while you know a brother is holding a grudge against you.
In practicing human kindness, don't be
concerned about who is right or wrong. The issue is reconciliation and
restoration between two people in order to prevent the fruits of bitterness. You
might say, "That is a hard thing to do." I agree!
Yes, one of the hardest things to do is
ask forgiveness from a person who had no reason to be mad at us in the first
place. If you ever go through such an experience, you will emerge with scars on
your soul that will be a tender remembrance of God's forgiveness. Our rebellion
broke God's heart and cause Him great personal heartache to bring us back to
Himself. Nevertheless, He took the initiative to effect reconciliation.
Third: Practice human
forgiveness. That's what Paul means when. he says, "forgiving
each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." (Eph.4:32) We are to
display human kindness toward those who are upset with us whether or not we have
done anything to them, forgiveness, on the other hand, is to be practiced with
those who have hurt us.
The word "forgive" (CHARIZSMAE) is a
participle picturing continuous action. It means to forgive freely; not holding
back or forgive grudgingly. Think of it! We are to practice forgiving
everything others have done against us, whether they seek forgiveness or
not. We are to seek their forgiveness when we offend them and then go ahead and
forgive others who offend us. That's revolutionary! We have the responsibility
to be kind to them as well as forgive them and in doing, we will bid farewell to
bitterness.
Forgiveness also involves a loss of memory
failure to forget prevents full forgiveness.
Example would be like two children
fighting-just before going to bed. when their mother put them to bed, she said
it wouldn't be good for them to go to sleep holding a grudge because Jesus
might come during the night. Reluctantly one of the brothers agreed, "Okay, I'll
forgive him; but if Jesus doesn't come tonight, I'm going to sock him in the
nose in the morning!"
If we haven't forgotten it, we haven't
really forgiven freely as commanded. God has forgotten all the wrongs we have
confessed to Him, hasn't He? Then He has the right to tell us to do the same to
others.
The divine standard of forgiveness is
given to show the extent of full forgiveness. the standard is, "----just as God
in Christ also has forgiven you."
We might object, "But that will be
difficult. It will hurt me deeply to forgive him for what he has don." Stop for
a minute and think about how it hurt God to forgive us. It cost God the death of
His blessed Son, Jesus Christ. It may wound our pride, but the hurt will never
equal how much our sin hurt God. We are to forgive as God does.
Another weak objection we might offer is,
"But what if he doesn't accept my forgiveness?" Whether or not he accepts our
forgiveness is not our problem. We are to forgive and then leave it up to him to
respond. God has provided forgiveness to the whole human race, because He knows
many will reject and trample it under foot. God knew that, yet He still holds
out the "olive branch" of forgiveness to all men. God's forgiveness is offered
whether we accept it or not; ours should be offered to others whether they
accept it or not.
When others offend us, we are to practice
forgiveness freely because without forgiving spirit, we will never be able to
pry loose from the grip of bitterness.
